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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542474">you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HC05/pseuds/HC05'>HC05</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>aroverse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst, Aromantic spectrum, Boys In Love, Cuddling, Demiromantic, Demiromantic Character, Demiromantic Jisung, Falling In Love, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Roommates, Sharing a Bed, Soft Boys, and other universes, aromantic taeyong, jisung mainly just listens to renjun ramble, renjun and jisung share a room in the dorms, they love the sky, they talk about aliens together a lot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:09:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,632</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542474</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HC05/pseuds/HC05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Renjun and Jisung were an odd pair, they loved each other and spent so much time together but took too long to confess their love to each other. Oh, and they loved admiring the sky together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Park Jisung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>aroverse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925494</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>rensung shippers i hope you enjoy this ^_^ and anyone here for demiromantic representation i Love you and you are So Valid. im not demiromantic so i tried my best but if any demiromantics have tips to offer that would be lovely!! i hope i've represented demiromanticism correctly!! also for anyone who doesn't know what demiromantic is, it's a romantic orientation on the aromantic spectrum where one only feels romantic attraction if they have an emotional bond/connection to the person!</p><p> </p><p>anyway i hope you enjoy this :]</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jisung loved love. He loved the warm feeling and he most importantly loved giving it to others. Especially to his hyung, Huang Renjun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It started a few years ago in small amounts. They’d just debuted, and Jisung grew close to the older boy through sharing a room. They stayed up late whenever they didn’t have schedules the following day, talking about anything and everything for hours on end. He’d grown to look forward to those late night talks, and sometimes it was the only thing he looked forward to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was aware that he could have feelings for Renjun that were different to the others, but he didn’t necessarily want romantic things with the older boy. He’d never had a crush on someone before, so he didn’t think what he felt for Renjun was a crush; although people had told him before that crushes usually consist of butterflies and blushes. He got that around Renjun, but he only noticed it start months into their friendship.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was an observant person. He noticed more than he wanted to, especially about himself, so when he was lying in his bed while Renjun laid in his and they had another discussion about other universes, he felt something shift. It wasn’t subtle to begin with, so Jisung was sure anyone would be able to feel it even if they weren’t as observant as him. To dumb it down, Jisung listened to his hyung ramble about aliens and such, and when he turned his head to catch a glimpse of the boy, something in his heart saw Renjun differently. He felt closer to him, but in a way he’d never felt for anyone before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The best way to make it make sense for him was that a connection had begun to form. He felt emotionally connected to Renjun, and with that came butterflies and flushed cheeks. He spent the rest of that night admiring his hyung’s voice, holding onto every word that exited his mouth, blurred through the night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The routine truly became ingrained in their daily lives quickly, and Jisung wouldn’t want it any other way. The skies were already one of his favourite things in the world, so he was thrilled to be able to lay in the comfort of his own bed, with a boy who makes him feel something no one else has ever made him feel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tonight, they didn’t have any practice through the night, nor schedules the next day so after they ate dinner, Renjun dragged Jisung to his room telling the younger that the sky was extra beautiful tonight and he didn’t want to miss a second of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Jisung entered the room, and looked outside their window, he realised that Renjun was telling the truth. The sky was mesmerising. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It held a beautiful clear blue that Jisung had only seen in the pool at Chenle’s house because of how clean it was. The clouds were minimal, but still floated around the sky loosely. They always drew Jisung in, wondering if there was anything more to the clump of gas. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun climbed into his bed, and dived into conversation about an article he read about aliens earlier in the day. Jisung listened from his bed, switching between admiring the sky and admiring Renjun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a few months since Jisung started to realise he was developing feelings for Renjun, and the latter hadn’t thought much about it. He didn’t have a reason to; he was content with Renjun’s presence and the thought of kissing him wasn’t all he was looking for. He definitely thought about it a lot, but at the end of the day, he enjoyed Renjun’s presence first and foremost. Although he couldn’t help but lay awake after Renjun had fallen asleep, staring at the boy and wondering what it’d be like to be tucked away in his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next morning, Renjun was on the couch with Jaemin and Donghyuck, watching back to back reruns of a show they’re obsessed with. Jisung made himself breakfast with a content smile on his face; today was a nice day, and he wanted to make the most of it. He called Chenle and asked the older if he wanted to go shopping today, and laughed through the phone when Chenle agreed loudly with excitement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Jisung walked back into the dorm with bags in his hand and a wide smile across his face from the fun he had with his best friend, he was met with Renjun and Jaemin on the couch; kissing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what to do, and didn’t even know if they heard him enter so instead of letting his presence become known, he beelined to his room and shut the door quickly. His heart pounded in his chest, and he climbed into his bed with a bit of jealousy clouding him. He didn’t know Renjun and Jaemin liked each other, and he doubted his closeness with Renjun at the thought of the elder keeping it from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The image never quite left Jisung’s head for a while, and he knew he was acting differently around Renjun, but he didn’t want to lose him so he sucked it up and tried his best to act the same as before. One night, Renjun decided to ask Jisung about his behaviour instead of rambling about aliens.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you doing alright lately Sungie?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Of course hyung, why do you ask?” He responded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve just been acting different,” Renjun whispered, “I’m worried that I did something wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jisung shook his head, sliding into Renjun’s bed to reassure the older up close, “I’ve just been a bit tired lately, the sky gets really beautiful at 5am these days.” He lied through his teeth, but the sigh Renjun let out at his confession eased his heart. That night, he got to experience what it felt like to fall asleep in Renjun’s arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung was alone in his room tonight. Renjun had schedules late into the night, and decided he’d crash at Chenle’s house instead of trekking back to the dorms; as Chenle’s house was closer to get to. For the first time in a while, he felt truly lonely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he was a kid, before he joined the company, he would admire the sky through his bedroom window before sleeping and an immense amount of loneliness would overwhelm him every single night. The sky was so big, and the universe was even bigger, it made Jisung feel so small and unwanted. Those feelings resurfaced as he laid in bed, alone, looking at the sky. The loneliness tormented him, and he couldn’t handle it anymore so he went to Jaemin’s room and used a bad dream as an excuse to lay with the boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He contemplated asking Jaemin about the kiss he had with Renjun, but decided it wasn’t his business. He also didn’t want to make Jaemin uncomfortable with a topic that they had decided to keep from the other members. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few weeks later, after Jisung had forgotten about the kiss shared between his band members, he returned from his rap lessons to find Renjun curled up in bed; tears running down his face. He immediately sat next to him and asked what was bothering him, feeling his heart clench at Renjun’s sad expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever liked someone just for them to not like you in return?” Renjun asked, sitting up and wiping his tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung froze, he hadn’t experienced that ever in his life. Sure, he liked Renjun, but that was completely different as he was still figuring it out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung,” Jisung whispered, taking his hand, “I think just because someone hasn’t returned the same feelings that you wanted them to doesn’t mean that you deserve to get sad over it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Renjun cracked a smile, “It’s good to let yourself be sad about things for a bit though Sungie. Haven’t you ever gone through this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jisung shook his head, “I don’t know if I’ve ever had those feelings for someone before hyung,” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Except for you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He failed to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun squeezed his hand, “Well there’s no rush Jisung. If you don’t feel that, then you don’t and nothing can change that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jisung was touched by the words, but his head still screamed at him to tell Renjun about his feelings. He knew it was too early, so he decided to keep it to himself for a bit more to figure it out. He’d never experienced these feelings before, and he knew the journey to developing a crush on Renjun was very different to the norm. He didn’t know how to find out more about it, but he knew someone who could help.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyong-hyung. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung saw Taeyong as his second father, and turned to him whenever his problems were too big for the older members of Dream to deal with</span>
  <span>—or when the problem was about them. This time it was both, and Jisung knew Taeyong would be willing to help.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One afternoon, Jisung managed to get Taeyong alone at the older groups’ dorms while everyone else was at schedules or in their rooms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s up Sung?” Taeyong greeted with a smile, letting the younger sit on his bed while he sat at his desk, working on a piece of art.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a bit of a problem and I don’t understand it one bit,” He started, fiddling with his fingers, “I’ve never liked someone before or had a crush and now I’m confused because I think I like Renjun-hyung.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Oh, ok,” Taeyong paused what he was doing, “Is there anything specific that makes you think you like him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Well, people always say that when you have a crush you feel butterflies and you blush a lot, or sometimes even feel jealous and I feel all of these around him. It’s hard to explain, but it only started happening after we got really close and I felt something shift in the way I saw him like a year into our friendship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Taeyong hummed, mumbling for him to continue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And one of my favourite things to do is stay up late and talk to him about the universe and existential things, he’s very passionate about it all and his voice at night calms me a lot.” Jisung rambled, feeling his stomach swirl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyong smiled, “That’s adorable Jisung, but what are you confused about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’ve never felt like this before, hyung. Kids my age are dating and have been crushing on multiple people relentlessly for years, I don’t know why I only feel this way for Renjun and only after getting to know him very well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Taeyong was silent for a bit, letting his thoughts pick the best words to offer Jisung.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Have you ever heard of being demiromantic?” He asked, taking Jisung by surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No… What’s that?” Jisung asked, folding his legs onto the bed. He felt like he’d be here for a while.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It means you only feel romantic attraction to someone after an emotional bond has been formed,” Taeyong explained, “You said you only started to feel things for Renjun after you got to know him well, do you consider Renjun someone you have an emotional bond with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jisung nodded, mouth agape at the discovery. It sounded right, and made him feel like a small void had been filled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not saying you are demiromantic for sure, but look into it and do your research, and remember no matter what you discover, I love you regardless.” Taeyong said, opening his arms for Jisung to slide into. Jisung sighed into the hug, shedding a few tears because of how safe Taeyong made him feel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you know what demiromantic is?” Jisung asked curiously, breaking away from the hug and standing in front of Taeyong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m aromantic Jisung, and demiromantic is on that spectrum,” Taeyong smiled, “I have some demiromantic friends if you want to meet them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’d love to,” Jisung responded, “But maybe after I do some research and think it over. Thank you hyung.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Anytime Sung-ah.” Jisung walked out with a smile on his face. He went straight to his dorm and opened his laptop once he reached his room, typing ‘Demiromantic’ into the search bar and letting himself explore this new revelation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hours into research, the door flung open and Jisung felt a dip in his head as Renjun laid beside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatcha doing?” He asked, looking at the laptop screen. Jisung was going to close it, but he didn’t need to hide this from Renjun. Renjun was his best friend, and he knew he’d accept him with open arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyong said I might be demiromantic when I explained how I feel about crushes, so I’m looking into it.” Jisung explained, moving the laptop aside to pay attention to Renjun. They were laying awfully close to each other, and Jisung prayed the proximity wouldn’t cause him to blush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’ve heard of that before.” Renjun said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah, Taeyong introduced me to his friend, JR, I think and he’s demiromantic,” Renjun replied casually, “Can I ask what makes you think that you’re demiromantic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Well, I’ve never had a crush except for this one person who I’d say I have a very close emotional bond to, and unlike other peoples’ crushes, I only started liking them once I recognised the bond was there.” Jisung explained. His heart was beating so fast, he thought it could pop out of his chest at any point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun nodded, looking slightly disappointed for a reason Jisung couldn’t pinpoint.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re ok with it right?” He mumbled, sitting so close to the latter that they could understand each other perfectly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun’s eyes widened and he rushed to confirm that he was perfectly ok with it, and wouldn’t judge Jisung at all</span>
  <span>—which put the youngers’ heart at ease. He didn’t know if he’d be able to handle Renjun being disapproving of him, especially when Renjun is the leading reason for Jisung discovering this about himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They laid next to each other for a bit longer, talking about each other’s day and how excited they were for their upcoming comeback. They usually get two a year, so whenever it came around, Jisung prepared heavily and felt the excitement bubble through him when he performed. His fans were great, and he loved performing for them. He’d never been a confident child, so the praise he received from his fans was extremely special to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun felt the same about the performances filling him with excitement. For the record, Jisung was sure performing filled all of them with excitement otherwise they wouldn’t be doing what they do right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Renjun,” Jisung interrupted their conversation randomly, “The person you liked who didn’t like you back, was it Jaemin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“How did you know that?” He asked, eyes widening again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I saw you two kiss one afternoon when I returned from shopping with Chenle,” Jisung confessed, “I didn’t want to say anything though because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but it was Jaemin you were crying over, wasn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun sighed, “Yeah, it was. Jaemin said he wasn’t looking for something with a colleague because he didn’t want to mess up our image. But it’s ok, I’m over it now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jisung’s heart sank a bit at the thought of Jaemin only seeing his members as colleagues. He considered his members his brothers, well except Renjun, and he’d never amount to calling them a colleague. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung took it upon himself to grasp Renjun’s hand and squeeze it to give him reassurance. His heart leapt in his chest when Renjun smiled softly at him, and placed his head on Jisung’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope you know that you’re more than just a colleague to me Sungie.” He whispered, squeezing Jisung’s hand back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re more than a colleague too,” Jisung breathed, “You’re my best friend Renjun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung felt his heart clench at the words, because he knew Renjun would take it platonically and although platonic relationships were amazing, Jisung wanted a romantic relationship with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Originally, he was ok with anything, but lying here now, lost in his own little world with Renjun made him almost want to cry because he knew Renjun didn’t want something other than a platonic friendship. Jisung felt bad that his stomach erupted in butterflies when Renjun pressed a kiss onto his cheek, proceeding to roll onto his back and stare at the ceiling. Jisung rolled over after closing his laptop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt his heartstrings tug again when Renjun reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers just like moments ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to stay like this forever,” Renjun began, “When I’m with you, it’s like all my worries wash away and I can be a normal person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Maybe when we retire from the industry, we can spend the rest of our days like this.” Jisung replied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun smiled, a giggle falling past his lips, “I’d love that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jisung fell asleep shortly after, and Renjun tucked him under the blankets before putting his laptop away and placing a kiss on the sleeping boys’ forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you.” Renjun whispered before leaving the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was in love with Renjun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was at Music Bank that Jisung realised. They were standing around on stage, cameras rolling when their name got called for the weekly win. Before Jisung could process what was happening, Renjun was shaking him and wrapping his tiny body around Jisung’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All Jisung remembers until they got off stage were the words Renjun whispered to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We did it Sungie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After everyone was escorted off stage, Jisung and his members were gathered in a small room and told to celebrate for a while amongst each other before they’d turn on the Vlive app and speak to their fans. Jisung celebrated with all of them, hugging each member and giggling about their win together. He spotted Renjun in the corner talking to Mark before they sat down and started a group conversation. The seating space was tiny, so Renjun found himself in between Jisung’s legs as the seven chatted fluently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun leaned against Jisung’s chest and let out a small sigh. Jisung had his arms loosely wrapped around the elder’s waist to ensure he wouldn’t slip off the ledge, and the action alone made Jisung’s ears turn red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung knew in that moment that he was in love with Huang Renjun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no other explanation for it. He sat there, with Renjun sitting between his legs and felt something so strong, he felt like he’d burst from the intensity. He hoped Renjun couldn’t hear the firm beat of his heart, but with their proximity, he wouldn’t be surprised.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the live ended, they piled into the van to go back to the dorms. Jisung was starting to feel sleepy despite the surge of excitement he still held inside. He leaned his head on the window, and slowly drifted off to sleep. When the van pulled up to their apartment building, Jisung was woken up and realised during his sleep, his head had moved from the window to Renjun’s shoulder. Jisung wasn’t much of a mover in his sleep, so he wondered how that happened but pushed it aside when Renjun exited the van and held his hand out for Jisung to get out with ease.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other boys assembled in their lounge room, bringing out drinks of all sorts to celebrate their well-deserved win. Mark took it upon himself to monitor the alcohol intake of the members a year younger than him, while Chenle and Jisung stuck to water or soda. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe that was our first win with all of us present.” Jeno said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The others chatted about their luck for a bit longer, before deciding they should play some games as they had tomorrow off and could stay up for as long as they wanted. Everyone sat in a circle on the floor, pulling games out that they’ve previously played on camera to finally enjoy without the burden of their image. Jisung sat in the middle of Chenle and Renjun, so throughout the game, they spoke Chinese together when they didn’t want the others to know their next move.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung was a bit confused as they weren’t on the same team, but smiled at the few words he managed to understand. They went through stacks of different games through the night, drinking into abyss. Around midnight, Mark decided to take the alcohol away and order everyone to their own rooms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun immediately grabbed Jisung’s hand and dragged him into their room. Jisung could tell that the elder was very tipsy, but he was good at handling his alcohol so Jisung wasn’t too worried. He made sure to tuck Renjun into bed before he could do anything chaotic around their room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung closed their door and slid into his own bed, admiring the sky and how Renjun had his eyes closed but was definitely still awake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few moments of silence, Renjun spoke up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s the person you have a crush on?” He asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You don’t need to tell me, but I’m curious,” He continued, “Who do you have an emotional bond with enough to develop feelings for them? You don’t have many friends outside of our group.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jisung’s hands went clammy. He didn’t know how to get out of this situation without confessing. He hated lying, and certainly was not going to tell Renjun that he likes someone else in the group. He was silent as he wondered whether he should just come clean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A girl from school,” Jisung responded, “It was a while ago though, I don’t see her anymore or like her anymore. But I did back then and we were pretty close until she moved away.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Oh, ok.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The conversation was never brought up again for weeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something had changed with the atmosphere between them after that night, and Jisung didn’t know what to do about it so he did nothing. Jisung started having trouble with falling asleep but didn’t want to bother Renjun with it. Most nights, Renjun was busy with schedules anyway and couldn’t make it to their late night talks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung was bummed out, but chose to spend time with his other members in their rooms. Jeno and Donghyuck shared a room while Mark shared one with Jaemin, and Chenle had a guest room that he used when he didn’t want to sleep in his own house. They had fun together and Jisung felt himself worry less and less about Renjun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was always going to have Renjun in the back of his head, but he could finally have a break from the heartache his love caused. It had taken him a while to understand his feelings, and now he knew exactly how he felt better than anything. The next step now was to move on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The front door opened as the others were on the couch, watching tv together. Renjun walked through the door from his radio segment, and looked at his members before walking straight to his room without greeting them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The others looked at each other with a confused expression, before Jisung jumped up and said he’ll handle it. He wanted them to know that he’s responsible, but a part of him also took pride in being the closest to Renjun out of all of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Renjun?” Jisung approached softly, closing the door behind him. Renjun sat on the bed, removing his socks and jacket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Renjun’s tone didn’t sound amazing. Jisung was a bit scared to cross any lines.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ok? Did something happen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Renjun took a frustrated sigh, before looking at Jisung with so much sadness. Before Jisung could receive a response, Renjun broke into sobs, hiding his face behind his hands. Jisung immediately sat next to him, and pulled him close. If Jisung had a talent other than dancing and rapping, it was giving love and comfort. He tucked Renjun’s head under his chin like Renjun had done to him when he slept in his arms, and rubbed his hands up and down Renjun’s back. The sobs slowed down, but Jisung could still hear sniffles and could practically feel Renjun’s sadness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It pained him to see Renjun in this state, and he was ready to fight what, or who, made Renjun feel like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you explain what happened now?” Jisung mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t understand.” Renjun replied. Jisung felt a tug at his heart, but it wasn’t a good one. He wanted to help; so he’d try his best to understand for Renjun’s sake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t understand if I don’t know what it is Renjun,” Jisung argued, “Maybe you should give me a shot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Renjun looked at him with miserable eyes. Jisung felt his heart crack at how defeated Renjun looked; Jisung really hoped that he could fix whatever was making Renjun so gloomy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you get it Jisung?” He snapped, “If I tell you I’ll just fuck everything up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I won’t let that happen hyung. You know you can tell me anything.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>A sob wracked through Renjun’s body again, and he took a few minutes to calm himself down again, leaning his head on Jisung’s chest. Jisung wrapped his arms around Renjun’s waist and made him feel like a caterpillar in its cocoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise you can tell me anything Renjun,” Jisung said, “That’s what best friends are for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I don’t want to just be your best friend.” Renjun responded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Jisung panicked, pulling them apart to look into Renjun’s eyes, “You don’t want to be friends anymore?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Renjun shook his head, cracking a smile, “I want to be boyfriends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Jisung mumbled, mind racing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See, I knew I’d fuck this up by telling you.” Renjun sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to be boyfriends too.” Jisung blurted, collecting his thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun’s eyes bulged, “You do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jisung nodded, “I do. I’ve wanted it for a while, Renjun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“But—but I thought you need an emotional bond to like someone?” Renjun asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I lied when I said the person I had a crush on was a girl from school,” Jisung admitted, “It was you I was actually talking about. I like you Renjun. I’ve only ever liked you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jisung swore Renjun was going to cry again, but he couldn’t tell when their lips were on each others’. Renjun’s lips were soft and Jisung felt his insides become warm and tender as Renjun wrapped his arms around his neck and kept the kiss sensual. He’d waited over a year for this, and now that he was finally getting it, he couldn’t be more happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they pulled apart, Renjun’s eyes had changed from sad to joy. Jisung felt happy that he was happy again, and even happier that he was the cause of Renjun’s happiness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m in love with you.” Renjun said, holding Jisung’s face in both of his small hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung felt himself tear up as he told Renjun that he loved him too, and that he’d loved him for some time now. Renjun listened to the younger as he rambled about how long he’d loved Renjun, and how he couldn’t find it in himself to dislike any aspect of him. Renjun smiled, feeling so much joy for the reciprocated feelings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You actually helped me figure out that I’m demiromantic, in a way.” Jisung said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How so?” Renjun whispered. Their faces were so close to each other again, like that one night when Renjun walked in on Jisung researching about himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re the first person I’ve ever developed feelings for, and the first emotional bond I’ve had, and hopefully the last because I can’t imagine my life without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span></span><br/>
<span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Remember that night when I said I wanted to stay on that bed next to you forever?” Renjun asked. Jisung nodded in return, “I’m going to make that happen.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading!!! please leave a comment or kudos if you can &lt;3</p><p><a href="https://twitter.com/aurensle?s=21">twitter</a> <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/aurensle">cc</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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